Benjamin Tod, founding member and one third of the group, Lost Dog Street Band, released his second solo album, A Heart of Gold is Hard to Find, on November 22nd. My first impression after listening to the album was that many of the things that I love most about Lost Dog albums, the raw, real emotion, the stripped down musical accompaniment, the excellent storytelling, are all present in Tod’s solo album as well.

Starting off the album is “Sorry For All the Things,” a song that Benjamin wrote years ago, but hadn’t yet put onto an album until this one. The song is an apology to his wife, Ashley Mae, who is also a part of Lost Dog Street Band and references some of the tougher times the two went through, living on very little money and dealing with Tod’s issues with alcohol and drugs. Something he wouldn’t give up for ten years after he wrote this song.

“I know you're dreamin' bout that blue flower dress

Oh, but you know, we can't afford things like that

Not quite yet. Don't hold your breath

And I'm sorry for the things that I said when I was drunk

I didn't mean 'em then, and I hope you lied

When you whispered goodbye, through teary eyes”

Listening to the lyrics left me conflicted. Part of me feels for the partner in this song because it’s extremely difficult to love someone with an addiction, but part of me feels for the addict himself. He can recognize that he’s hurting the one he loves most, yet can’t stop himself from doing it. Tod is always extremely forthcoming about the issues he’s had with drugs and alcohol and I feel like his willingness to share those struggles with others, whether through stories or songs, is something that draws people into both his solo ventures as an artist, as well as the music he makes as part of Lost Dog Street Band. 

“We Ain’t Even Kin” is written for Tod’s grandfather, someone he actually isn’t blood related to, which explains the title. Even though the song is masterfully executed on the album, do yourself a favor and go watch the “Gems on VHS” version of it on YouTube. The video is filmed at the home of Tod’s grandfather in Muhlenburg County, Kentucky. The place he explains is, “where he came to as a child,” then with pause, and an audible exhale, he begins the song. It’s no secret that Benjamin Tod has had a tough life and we can see where some of the conflict of this begins, even still under his grandfather’s roof.

“He'll read me the bible til midnight

And he tanned my hide when he caught me in lies

When I dropped out of school we did fight

And we lost some years into our foolish pride

And now I'm not sure if I'm better or worse for the distance

But we're not concerned cause there's nothing to learn from resentment”

Perhaps my favorite song off the album is, “Long Gone.” It’s a quiet, but powerful song about self-loathing that starts off with a long guitar intro and then the lyrics, which are the true standout in this song, stopped me in my tracks. 

“Ain’t no maiden here or yonder ever need this kind of love…

you don’t want none lady take it from me

the charm that I give you is anything but free

it will cost you years and many tears and it ain’t yours to keep

I poison everything I touch like nothing else that breaths”

I feel like I’ve known someone like that in my life and maybe even I’ve felt this way about myself before, which to me is always a strong indication of an album that I know I’m going to love and keep returning to. If someone who doesn’t even know me, can prompt me to reflect and identify with their lyrics, then they have done their job as an artist.

A Heart of Gold is Hard to Find, is an incredibly strong album and warrants not a casual listening experience, but that the listener stop, sit down with headphones on and digest each song individually. It’s an album that requires your full attention, so that you can pause, slow down and give each song the proper consideration it demands and quite honestly deserves. It’s a glimpse into Benjamin Tod’s life, a small part of some of the experiences that have shaped him into the singer/songwriter he has grown to be. The intimacy of some of these songs is something that seems granted to only those that are closest to him, which is why it seems so important to really listen to these songs he’s sharing with the world.

Benjamin Tod:

benjamintodmusic.com

Get the Album Here:

benjamintod.bandcamp.com/album/a-heart-of-gold-is-hard-to-find

Photos By Melissa Payne:

melissapaynephotography.com